Pulled in multiple directions

You can have too much of a good thing. Sometimes it's hard to tell which is the better thing, or the best thing.

Recently I started paying more attention to presentations and workshops presented at a number of branches of the Ottawa Public Library. When I reviewed what is being offered it seems that they are all aimed at me. So many offerings so little time. I did a little picking and choosing.

The first one I attended was about tracing the history of a house in Ottawa. Hey - I need to do that. There are two houses in fact. One is the home of my great grandparents which was expropriated in 1969 and has been demolished. The property is now a parking lot. The other is the home that my grandfather built and in which my family lived until I was almost 12 years old.

I'm writing my maternal grandmother's life story - or rather, I'm trying to do justice to a wonderful strong woman who was not sufficiently appreciated while she was alive. Everyone deserves to be remembered and just because you were not a public figure or a member of the aristocracy doesn't mean that this doesn't apply in your case. I really do want Agnes McGrath Sunderland, my Nanny, to be remembered.

I had started writing about her and was struggling to put together a smooth readable narrative from the facts and anecdotes I had assembled. It wasn't working. I might just as well have printed out the "lifestory" option from our family tree on Ancestry.com and tossed in a few photos.

Lo and behold the Library came to my rescue again. Denise Chong, the Ottawa author of The Concubine's Children, was giving a presentation to aspiring writers at a branch not too far from my home, although not at the branch I regularly use. Denise is a non-fiction writer who tells the true stories of her characters in a very readable way. I can't hope to come close to her wonderful style. She researches exhaustively, assembles all the details from documents and interviews and then begins to write.

I had assembled the skeleton of Aggie's life. I have birth, marriage and death records. I have copies of the censuses in which she was enumerated. I had personal recollections and stories from her other grandchildren but since she had passed away in 1969, I couldn't conduct an interview. Neither could I interview my mother who lived with Nanny almost her whole life. She has also died. There is one living niece with whom I speak from time to time on long distance phone calls. She did offer some help as she spent quite a bit of time with Aggie who was her closest aunt. Somehow all that information was not easily translated into flowing prose.

With inspiration from Denise's talk and a copy of her latest book "Lives of the Family", I was finally able to start writing the story. I began by describing Aggie at a particular place and point in time. She was almost 9 years old. From that beginning it was a little easier. Now I'm absorbed in the process.

There are so many resources which I can use to put context around Aggie's life. I still have not decided where I will draw the line and tell myself "that's enough". I have still to conduct the research on the stories of each house. City directories have provided information that was a surprise to me. Just how much of the history of those homes will be included? I still don't know.

Stories of Aggie's parents and grandfather keep creeping in, as do stories of Aggie's son and daughter and sister and ...

How will I incorporate the stark facts of her life? Well, there will be an annex to the book which will include the family tree and the various religious and secular milestones in her life. Pictures will be grouped and inserted in sections to break up the text, they will not be sprinkled in with the text. I'm not an editor or graphic designer yet I would like the presentation to be attractive.

Tomorrow the library is beckoning again. This time it will be to learn a bit about how to take better vacation photos. I'll take lots of notes.

For now, it's time to start making supper. I will try not to write this evening but spend some time selecting the pictures to use and scanning those I don't yet have in digital format. Two weeks ago, at the library of course, I learned about preserving family photos. I will have to spend a good deal of time getting pictures in order. Digital format is not the best way to preserve a special picture. Printed pictures, well cared for, will outlast digital every time.

I did go for a short walk today and have decided to try downloading audio-books to my phone so that I can "read" while I walk. The story will come into my ears and not through my eyes glued to a page. I hope it works.

I'm trying not to be overwhelmed with the prospect of all the writing that lies ahead. So many ancestors, so many lives to recount, so little time ...

Just the facts - that part is easy

I have compiled facts and anecdotes and photos of Mary Agnes McGrath, my maternal grandmother. The family tree of her ancestors has been completed to the extent that they are known at this point in time. A list of world-changing events that occurred during her lifetime has been compiled. Chronological details of her life have been recorded. But when I put them all together I'm not happy with the result. Here's where my lack of writing experience is really showing.

I want to present something that looks good, has a narrative that flows well and engages the reader, and gives the reader a real sense of who Agnes McGrath was. Notwithstanding all of that, her life story is really aimed just at family.

Aggie was the perfect embodiment of a classical grandmother. She had the white hair fastened into a bun, she always wore dresses, she showed appreciation for the smallest favours and most childish of gifts, she was an accomplished cook and baker, she was totally devoted to her two children and her seven grandchildren. I took her for granted and in my more selfish moments, resented having yet another voice saying "no". This book is my effort to atone for the lack of appreciation I showed Nanny during her lifetime.

Initially the plan was to create an illustrated book - the kind you hold in your hands. Then I thought about an e-book. That, however, doesn't seem right as a tribute to a person who passed away long before the advent of electronic copies of anything. There will probably always be an electronic version to allow for new stories, photos or details if they are uncovered. But, I'm back to the printed and illustrated book concept.

So, I'm at the point of formatting "Aggie's Dash". That is the title.

Let me back up just a little. Once I decided that I would write family stories, I thought there should be a unifying theme. I decided on The Dash.

Read the poem that inspired this title here:
http://www.linda-ellis.com/the-dash-the-dash-poem-by-linda-ellis-.html

So, I started writing about Arthur Byrne, my three times great grandfather - and that's still in progress. The problem there is I'm pretty much stuck with facts and documents, there are no anecdotes and no pictures. Then I started a combined Bob Burns and Rita Sunderland (my parents) story. That's still in progress. The problem there is that I knew them both, have lots of photos and stories, and can't figure out what to include. It could be a huge tome, but I want to make it reader-friendly.

I figured it would be better to start with someone I knew and to whose story I could add more than facts and documents. The person I chose was Nanny - Mary Agnes McGrath.

So - over the next few days I will be arranging and re-arranging sentences and whole paragraphs. Photos will be selected and grouped and placed close to the narrative which they illustrate. I will have to resist the printing of each version. My pile of scrap paper - i.e. printed on one side with stuff I don't need to keep - is already threatening to take over my desk and does not need to be augmented.

The weather is cool and wet and I figure it's good to get used to this as my winter in Ireland is quite likely to have lots of days similar to what is forecast here. It should also give me some guidance on what clothes to take with me.

That's it for now. I have to continue to find diversions from the American election which is far too much like watching a train wreck - just can't look away even though I don't live in the US.

How do I get all the stories?

Everyone has a story. Now that I've started writing down recollections about my grandmother, Agnes McGrath Sunderland, and have made only a tiny start in the stories of my parents, I wish I could get everyone in the family to write about themselves.

It may not seem important to each person, but when I think of all the questions that I never asked my parents, aunts, uncles and grandmothers I wish I could record the stories of everyone in the family. If you are a part of the extended clan it would be wonderful to hear your story.

How do you start? Well, familysearch.org has 52 questions you can use to get started. Here is the link https://familysearch.org/blog/en/52-questions-52-weeks/. Please try to write out answers to those questions. If you can, use those as a guide to write the stories of your parents and other relatives.

Even if you don't feel you can write answers to all the questions, maybe you have a recollection or brief anecdote. I would love to hear it and read it and incorporate it into the family saga. What's more important, those that come after us will have a much better understanding of us if we can put something on paper which they can read maybe 50 years from now, or even 100 years from now. I wish I had such written memories of my forebears. Sadly I don't know of anyone who has passed away, who left a written record.

Well, that's not exactly true. I do have a diary that my mother kept from 1939 to 1943. Her entries were short. It was a 5 year diary with only a few lines of space for each day. Each date had a small space for each of 5 years. She was very faithful in recording how she spent her time. It's a window into her life.

Tomorrow I hope to get to the Irish embassy in downtown Ottawa to see if I could possibly get an extension on the 90 day limit on visits. I want to spend about 110 days in Ireland next winter and spring. Stay tuned.

Sometimes a phone call is all it takes

Just a few days ago, Hurricane Matthew laid waste to the Florida coast. Very heavily affected was Daytona Beach and the coastline north of there. Not so far up the coast live three cousins who had all decided to hunker down in their own solidly built apartment buildings, to ride out the storm. Hurricane shutters were indeed an important part of their safe, if harrowing, passage.

This morning I felt the need to check in with Jane to see how she, Mary and Alice had fared. That's when I learned that they had not evacuated. They're all fine and happy that electricity has been, mostly, restored.

As always happens when I chat with Jane, the conversation wandered and eventually came up the the story of the death of her grandmother, Bridget Murphy Byrne. My reporting of stories about Bridget's death was based on what I had heard from the family in Ireland. As it happens, they seem to have gotten it all wrong. For any distress I caused Jane, Mary and Alice, I'm so very sorry.

Recently I had found among the Irish civil records, the register of Bridget's death. The cause was listed as "childbirth 7  hours, extreme exhaustion". I had heard a story - speculation that must have been altered over a century of re-telling - that Bridget was so despondent over losing her newborn twin girls, that she fell down the stairs, possibly on purpose or possibly from simple exhaustion. The fall had reportedly caused her demise. But not so fast ...

Today I heard a completely different story from Jane - reported in her family so most likely the real account. It was not known that Bridget had been expecting twins. She had laboured long to deliver the first baby girl who was either stillborn or died almost immediately after birth. Bridget was exhausted and those in attendance had gone downstairs to let her rest. Some time later someone went to check on Bridget. Sadly they found Bridget had passed away and between her legs was another dead baby girl. The agony that this must have caused for her husband Luke and two very young sons, Ned and Art, is impossible to imagine.

Luke was unable to cope on his own and took his young sons to live for a while with his own uncle Luke and his wife Kate Doyle Byrne, at Coolross. Ned, the younger child who was about four, was left there. Art, only a year older than Ned, clung to his father's leg and thus managed to convince his father to let him stay with his Daddy. It is not known where they lived until the 1911 census. It must have been during this interval that young Art spent time at Coolross.

In the 1911 census, Ned was still living at Coolross with his aunt whom he disliked intensely. His uncle Luke had passed away. Reports abound that Ned was very unhappy with the treatment he received from Kate, and lives on in stories of a naughty child. He would set out for school but not get there only to be found hiding later in the day, he carved his name in a rock and it can still be seen at Coolross, and he generally let it be known how unhappy he was.

At the time of the census in 1911 young Arthur was listed as a scholar and boarding with Patrick and Mary Keogh in Knockloe, Rath, County Wicklow.

In that same census, Luke was a visitor at the home of George Byrne and his wife Maria, in Tinahely. He was identified as a Baker and was of the right age and born, apparently, in County Wicklow. In fact, Luke had been born in Dublin in 1865.

So far I have not found a connection between the George Byrne whom Luke was visiting, and the family at Coolross. There was a George at Coolross, brother of Luke who had the family farm, but he was blind and was unmarried.

I suppose this gives rise to more research to figure out where, if anyplace, George Byrne of Tinahely, fits in the family story. It could be no more than coincidental family names because Byrne is about the most common surname in County Wicklow.

Well the beautiful sunshine, if not the chilly temperature, is beckoning. It's time for a walk and some very fresh air.